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Whats the definition of an accountantSomeone who from Flashcomment Accountant jokes Jokes
What's the definition of an accountant? Someone who solves a problem you didn't know you had in a way you don't understand.

How many accountants does it take to from Flashcomment Accountant jokes Jokes
How many accountants does it take to change a light bulb? "What kind of answer did you have in mind?" Two, one to change the light bulb and one to check that it was done within the given budget.

Q What is a Budget A An from Flashcomment Accountant jokes Jokes
Q: What is a Budget? A: An orderly system for living beyond your means.

A young accountant spends a week at from Flashcomment Accountant jokes Jokes
A young accountant spends a week at his new office with the retiring accountant he is replacing. Each and every morning as the more experienced accountant begins the day, he opens his desk drawer, takes out a worn envelope, removes a yellowing sheet of paper, reads it, nods his head, looks around the room with renewed vigor, returns the envelope to the drawer, and then begins his day's work. After he retires, the new accountant can hardly wait to read for himself the message contained in the envelope in the drawer, particularly since he feels so inadequate in replacing the far wiser and more highly esteemed accountant. Surely, he thinks to himself, it must contain the great secret to his success, a wondrous treasure of inspiration and motivation. His fingers tremble anxiously as he removes the mysterious envelope from the drawer and reads the following message: "Debits in the column toward t he file cabinet. Credits in the column toward the window."

A business owner tells her friend that from Flashcomment Accountant jokes Jokes
A business owner tells her friend that she is desperately searching for an accountant. Her friend asks, "Didn't your company hire an accountant a short while ago?" The business owner replies, "That's the accountant I've been searching for."

If an accountants wife cannot sleep what from Flashcomment Accountant jokes Jokes
If an accountant's wife cannot sleep, what does she say? "Darling, could you tell me about your work."

A guy in a bar leans over from Flashcomment Accountant jokes Jokes
A guy in a bar leans over to the guy next to him and says, "Want to hear an accountant joke?" The guy next to him replies, "Well, before you tell that joke, you should know that I'm 6 feet tall, 200 pounds, and I'm an accountant. And the guy sitting next to me is 6'2" tall, 225 pounds, and he's an accountant. Now, do you still want to tell that joke?" The first guy says, "No, I don't want to have to explain it two times."

Why accountants dont read novelsBecause the only from Flashcomment Accountant jokes Jokes
Why accountants don't read novels? Because the only numbers in them are page numbers.

Why do accountants make good lovers Theyre from Flashcomment Accountant jokes Jokes
Why do accountants make good lovers? They're great with figures.

A patient was at her doctors office from Flashcomment Accountant jokes Jokes
A patient was at her doctor's office after undergoing a complete physical exam. The doctor said, "I have some very grave news for you. You only have six months to live." The patient asked, "Oh doctor, what should I do?" The doctor replied, "Marry an accountant." "Will that make me live longer?" asked the patient. "No," said the doctor, "but it will SEEM longer."

An accountant is having a hard time from Flashcomment Accountant jokes Jokes
An accountant is having a hard time sleeping and goes to see his doctor. "Doctor, I just can't get to sleep at night." "Have you tried counting sheep?" "That's the problem - I make a mistake and then spend three hours trying to find it."

Two accountants are in a bank when from Flashcomment Accountant jokes Jokes
Two accountants are in a bank, when armed robbers burst in. While several of the robbers take the money from the tellers, others line the customers, including the accountants, up against a wall, and proceed to take their wallets, watches, etc. While this is going on accountant number one jams something in accountant number two's hand. Without looking down, accountant number two whispers, "What is this?" to which accountant number one replies, "it's that $50 I owe you."

An accountant visited the Natural History museum from Flashcomment Accountant jokes Jokes
An accountant visited the Natural History museum. While standing near the dinosaur he said to his neighbor: "This dinosaur is two billion years and ten months old". "Where did you get this exact information?" "I was here ten months ago, and the guide told me that the dinosaur is two billion years old."